what it means to be human

ok so that was a clickbait title. more like what it means for me to be human. or rather, what it means for me to feel human–

– long distance running
– drinking
– dancing for hours, hours
– writing for a long, long time

excess seems to be a good way to tap into the outer reaches of human experience. not just to try something, but to do it SO MUCH, or for SO LONG, for too long! the euphoria of runner’s high, the glorious uninhibition of a drunk state of mind. the outward thrum that projects into the world when you dance. and of course, the creation of something that is an epic, absorbing, immersive, endless experience, which is a lengthy novel or a really gorgeous painting or something you can be inside of for a long, long time.

yes, yes. doing a lot of something or doing something for a long time, or doing a lot of something for a long time (i guess it would have to be the right thing so you don’t burn out) — that seems like a great recipe for me to feel alive, to feel like i am experience what i am supposed to feel as a human being, the highest arches of ecstasy, pushing the limits, boundless. and yet so human, so organic, so soft and fleshy with bones for an infrastructure.

spicy tofu that is so intense, and a particularly energetic romp in the sack.

there may be others who disagree, those who find this stimulation painful, but perhaps for them, the same humanity can be achieved with less of something.

idk. feeling alive has started to feel like a privilege, and making the best effort every day, jumping into things with energy, optimism, vigor, and conviction is the only way to go, the only path i want to walk, the only choice i want to make.

one of the first google images for search keyword ‘amazing’:



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